I write this at 8; 27 am, Saturday, January, 2019 thinking of where I am now and smiling at myself, midway tears gather in my eyes and I let them out.
Dear younger self
This is a letter from me to you.
When you get to school, don’t be worried about what other people think and the rumor flying around about you, other people’s word does not define you. You are more than that.
People see you doing the things you love and they say you love attention, let them say. Never let your light dim. That light and zeal to do what you enjoy will open doors for you.
You will lose friends you take as sisters, it will be painful because that type of love and pain is different to what you are used to but you will be fine, sometimes it will hurt you and make you cry but you always end up with good people by your side because you are a good person with an amazing soul.
You waste too much time looking at yourself in the mirror wishing to be someone else, the hurtful words you heard growing up about your skin and how flat you butt was fueled this so you sometimes cry yourself to sleep remembering the faces of the mean people, the disgust in their words and sometimes feel that no one deserved to see the horror on your face
Girl, you should see you now. You are tired of the curves and although your skin is still a work in progress, you are on fire and not letting it hold you down.
Remember that man that gave you poison disguised as love? The one that made you see the world as a cruel place? He is nowhere close now, he can never hurt you again. I wish you were not scared and hiding from pain for that 2 years but that would be unfair. At 13 you handled it alone, well and it has shaped you into the awesome person that you are today.
You have loved deeply and were treated like a princess that mummy calls you, she still calls you that in public and now it’s just embarrassing.
Currently, your love life is not perfect but there is progress and do you remember that growth is one of the most important things in life?
I love when you smile, although sometimes I say I hate it because it makes our nose look bigger and society thought me that that was not the definition of beauty but they were wrong. You have been beautiful since the birth of you.
You have always loved helping people, you are still, through the little ways, people confide in you, mostly women and you help and walk them through the pain. I love you deeply. I’m sorry for the nights you cried yourself to sleep because you felt unloved, you felt there was no light and it would continue like that forever. Well, you’re over that now, you are too full of life to feel like that.
You are happy, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are a good person, stop beating yourself up for mistakes, you are allowed to be flawed.
You are the reason I want to do better every day, did I tell you that you are so smart and you got your first job at 20 and you absolutely love it!
I love you
Cheers to more letters as we mature, grow and thrive.
Love and Light