What a mess I have made with nothing but an idea that I am not enough – Chloe Frayne

Most of us have felt insecure one way or the other, I know I have. I hated my nose growing up and I was being constantly mocked for it, then as I grew older my skin became my worst nightmare. I wrote all about that HERE – My Acne Depression Story .

Being insecure is almost too common these days even though we don’t talk about it enough, the media had fueled this by always pushing what the ideal woman should look like down our throats.

Grateful for the women that are standing tall and showing us that there are different definitions of beauty.

Today I asked 4 amazing female bloggers about their body insecurities and how they are dealing with, I hope you learn something to help you get over yours because you’re not alone.


My name is Deborah Akingboye, an HR, lifestyle blogger, and entrepreneur. I blog at debwritesblog On days I’m not managing people or blogging, I’m either watching movies, reading or promoting mental health awareness under the aegis of Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative.

– What caused you to be insecure about yourself?
I noticed everyone my age especially my friends all had a flat tummy but mine has never been flat. When I was younger like 8, I was given a nickname because I was fat and it stuck for a long time.
That time it was funny until I became older and realized it’s a terrible name to give anyone. It was pretty shameful and I started been so conscious about it.
It got so bad it affected me and I went to pushing my chest out. I didn’t even which became worse than, the chest out or food baby.

– At what age did you become insecure?
At the age of 13, that was when I started becoming very conscious of how I look and how others girls around me looked.

-What was the worst thing you did because of insecurity?
Not sure if it’s worse but I got a lot of slimming pills, and waist trainers. I drank some pressed oil because someone said it would reduce my tummy fat and I purged for days.

-How are you overcoming your insecurity?
I can’t say I have overcome it yet because it really still bothers me.
I’ve gotten to the point where I try not to wear just any clothes but clothes I’m comfortable in and what makes me feel good about myself in public
People still use the word fat and orobo but that’s what they see so I can’t blame them.

Rather, I still wear my clothes, look so good and give them a style to copy or steal and I love all I see in the mirror. On days I feel bloated, I detox, wear-free clothes and move on with my life.
Life is too good to be bothered about others who can’t stay out of my business.

A word for anyone going through such
My dear, it’s going to be freaking hard. People laugh at what they don’t understand, you can’t blame them for it. Regardless, work on your self-esteem and confidence. This is your thick skin to whatever they say.

Surround yourself with positive people who will never laugh behind you but would rather help you find a way to correct your insecurities if it’s correctable. These ones will be your strength in dark days.
And please love yourself irrespective of how you look or feel, that’s the first step to totally felling secured and better.


I’m Anniedora, a content curator for Lemonadesociety I enjoy reading and living vicariously through books and movies, travel videos and Instagram.

 What caused you to be insecure about yourself?
My classmates had made comment about my height and how small I was. They would mention it while joking but it stayed with me.

– At what age did you become insecure?
About 15 or 14 years of age.

-What was the worst thing you did because of insecurity?
I don’t think I’ve done anything terrible to myself because of my height. I mostly just take two years or three years off my age, so it’s believable.

-How are you overcoming your insecurity?
My aunt once said to me, you can either accept it or keep letting it bring you down. Also seeing petite girls live their best lives while being able to explore different fashion outlets inspired me to start loving myself more.

-A word for anyone going through such
You can’t change your height but you can change your perspective of it and accept it. The older you get, you start to realize that your height is a bonus to who you are. Figure out what looks good on you and have fun… you’ve been given a petite stature, have fun boo.


My name is Chika, a DIY and natural hair blogger at Chikannadi

– What caused you to be insecure about yourself?
Pregnancy and Childbirth made me insecure

– At what age did you become insecure?
I became insecure at 23 years

-What was the worst thing you did because of insecurity?
I embarked on a restrictive diet, worked out myself to death and ate anything that came my way

-How are you overcoming your insecurity?
I am overcoming insecurity by learning and practicing self-care and putting my health first above all. I accepted that my baby pouch wouldn’t go away overnight since it took 9 months to expand and accommodate my baby. So, instead of killing myself with corsets and dieting, I love and nurture my body the way it is while working towards a healthier me.

-A word for anyone going through such
It’s okay to admire individuals with your dream body but that doesn’t mean you should hate yours. Always Love your body and treat it right.

Snap back doesn’t happen overnight


I am Desire Uba, a 24-year-old pharmacist, and lifestyle/ literary blogger. I have always been one to pen my emotions down, which is why I started blogging. I am a feminist, a woman who believes in the holistic growth of women and men in every facet of their lives. Oh, yes, I am addicted to ice-cream.

– What caused you to be insecure about yourself?

I have always been a skinny girl. Up until 2018, I had never weighed above 50 kilograms, and for a 23-year-old of my height, that is borderline underweight and I knew that.
As the first child whose younger sisters have somehow always been bigger, it led to people asking whether I was sick, at certain points, or asking blatantly whether my parents don’t feed me properly.
As a girl who was already struggling with acne, amongst other things, this constant berating subconsciously led to my feeling insecure about my body.

– At what age did you become insecure?
I believe that I was around age 10 when I started feeling uncomfortable about my body.

-What was the worst thing you did because of insecurity?

Ha! I didn’t quite do much as a result of this but I remember, when I was about 13 years, deciding to wash and wear a particular brassiere almost every day because I thought it made me look ‘bustier’ because I was pretty flat-chested.

-How are you overcoming your insecurity?

When I went to church last Sunday, I wore a really nice fitted dress I felt absolutely beautiful in and a family friend whom I haven’t seen in years looked at me and said, ‘Ah, Nne, you have lost weight, aren’t you eating?’ At that moment, I lost the confidence I came to church with, but I picked it up almost as quickly!

In times like that, I remind myself that I am beautiful. That I love the dress and the girl in it.
I surround myself with positive- minded, loving people. My friends are people whom I ‘selected’ because they fit the aesthetic of what I want my life to be- Positive, always.

-A word for anyone going through such

First off, you. Are. Beautiful.
Believe me, you truly are.
You Are Strong, your OWN strong, not someone else’s.
It may not get better in one day, but I promise you, this journey you have embarked on will end in the brightest light- Your best self!

One thing I noticed is how people can be very insensitive and just say anything about peoples bodies without wondering how they will feel, we need to be more considerate, if what you want to say about how someone look can’t be fixed in 5-10 minutes keep it to yourself. chances are they already know. thanks.

I want to say a big thank you to the women that shared their experiences with me, for you reading this, I hope you understand that you are not alone and with time it gets better.


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By Olotu Funke

Olotu Funke is a baddie keen on existing fully, documenting her journey with Skin Positivity, Mental Health, Personal Style, and the Life in between.

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