Female Development and Style

I read a tweet on how black girls are often conditioned to tie so much of our self-worth to our hair, how we are being bombarded with hair growth obsession in the natural hair community, putting too much energy trying to prove that our hair can grow and if this ain’t true!

When I had long healthy hair, I felt this but did not completely understand, since I had my big chop it’s been something else.

My first week at work after I cut my hair

One of the staff I work with practically sat me down to talk about how I look like a child and like a boy, how men don’t like ladies on low cut (when will people stop assuming that some of us care about men so much that we will put certain things on hold because of them) and how I won’t be taken seriously, other corpers I work with were there and it was obvious with their facial expressions and the side laugh in low tune was obvious they found what she was saying to be ‘true and funny’. It was irritating. But I was not going to let anyone make me feel terrible for what I decide to do to my hair. it’s not their business.

There was another occasion where this man asked if I were a boy and I didn’t care if he owned the place and answered ‘yes na, can’t you see that I’m a fine boy?’ he was embarrassed and walked away.

Another time this man called me, sat me down and started preaching to me, the hair is the beauty of a woman, it is your crown, it’s what makes you different from a man, it’s what makes you a woman. Like hello! My Vagina disappears? My intuition? At birth what is used to differentiate the gender? The hair?

I find it really irritating when people try to act dumb and question my sexuality, it’s not funny. Stop questioning people’s body, sexuality, weight, skin color or pointing it out, if it’s something they can’t change in less than 10 minutes keep it to yourself. Chances are they know about it.

A lot of people have tied their worth down to their hair, the length obsession, the crazy DIYs, I used to do those in the days but it was for the fun of it, I was in love with healthy hair and length was not really a priority.

I’m not saying do not love your natural hair, by all means, celebrate that crown but don’t spend all your energy proving that your hair can grow and waiting for it to get to a certain length before you can appreciate it. it’s yours and you make it beautiful.

Enjoy the process, please. And if you want to cut your hair and you’re scared of how people will react. Some people will love it, some will look at you like you did something bad but ultimately, and it’s all about you and how you feel about your hair.

One day I will talk about the obsession with human hair.

What do you think of the cut life? How do you take your natural hair? Do you get irritating comments about your hair and how do you handle it?

Pictures were taken by @stuffedbox he’s amazing

Full outfit from my online store @shopwitholotu and it costs less than 5k for the total outfit minus the bag and shoe.

Let’s connect on Instagram, I’m @olotufunke

YOU SHOULD READ

Why I cut my Natural Hair, Reason, Reaction, Regrets? Do Men Find Me Less Attractive?

Get To Know me – Too much Information tag

A Day Of Self Love And Social Media detox

Lessons From An Event On Leadership and Protocols

16 Comments

  • Posted September 1, 2018 7:59 pm
    by Franca

    I keep natural hair too and I don’t see any specialty because it is very stressful and demanding to keep. It nice to know your hair is growing though but maybe too overrrated

    • Posted September 1, 2018 8:06 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      Yes it’s good to know that, it’s a sign of healthy hair too not just when you’re obsessed with long hair ? thanks for reading Franca

  • Posted September 1, 2018 8:03 pm
    by Grace Gigi

    People can be so rude arrgh! Rude and uncouth, never minding their business. It’s annoying! Do you babe, Always!

    http://www.epiphany29.com

    • Posted September 1, 2018 8:06 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      Thank you grace❤️ always ⭐️

  • Posted September 1, 2018 10:40 pm
    by Toks David

    I remember the time i decided to go natural in 2016, i did a really big chop ? i felt funny afterwards but by the time i was done under the shower, i felt better. On getting to the office, i didn’t know how my fellow colleagues would react but lo and behold my closest friend among them also cut her hair really really lower than mine, we laughed so hard and others thought we planned it, but we didn’t. I really felt better afterwards, and didn’t even want the hair to grow but it did.

    Like they say, our hair is our crown, whether loosed, packed or cut low. It’s your duty to treat it the same way you treat yoirself, no one should tell you what and what not to do.

    Enjoyed reading this Funke, and i love your haircut (I’m sure I’ve told you this before ??)

    • Posted September 1, 2018 10:43 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      Thank you babygirl.. awwwnnn.. that’s a really cute story. Y’all have cute friends I’m sure if I send this to my girlfriend she will look at me one kin??

      No one should tell you what and what not to do with it??❤️

  • Posted September 2, 2018 12:51 am
    by Ihe

    Hey, this was such a great post. As women, society conditions us to put so much value in our hair. Having hair isn’t what makes us beautiful. I love your hair short. You rock it well girl!

  • Posted September 2, 2018 9:29 pm
    by Amaka

    Lol people and their never ending intrusion and questions. I could be one of them, but I’m not. Why? I keep my thoughts to myself and mind my business, because most of the time, what I’m curious to know of won’t really end up adding anything major to my life in the long run. I wish more people were like this. Crazy about the experiences you had, especially the man that was preaching to you! Where do people find the time out of their lives to do such silly things? Mchewwww!

    I like the hair on you – not that my opinion matters anyway. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you’re content and satisfied, and you’re in a good place. Rock that low cut sis!

    http://www.mindofamaka.com

  • Posted September 3, 2018 9:14 pm
    by Oyinkansolaplus

    I’m glad you’re comfortable with your low cut and not letting the comments get to you. You look beautiful by the way ?

  • Posted September 6, 2018 10:59 pm
    by Cirphrank

    2nd pic is a banger, people’s opinions are but theirs, never to be made yours.

    Never to be brooded upon when it’s but just plain stereotyping gibberish.

  • Posted October 11, 2018 9:05 am
    by Chidinma

    I cut my hair last year and I did it myself ( I’m very DIYish with my hair). I came out of the room and my family members loved it…. Now this is not liked I seeked validation from them or something but I just felt good knowing that they didn’t make the whole thing feel awkward for me.

    Fast forward to going back to school and I heard all sorts: “you are petite already, how can you have short hair? you look like a child”. The most ridiculous question I still get asked today is what my dad and boyfriend thinks of my hair cut and if they approve.

    I pay them no mind, especially as you don’t contribute to my hair expenses. I love my short hair…. I get tired and bored of it but that’s perfectly fine. I also enjoy playing around with it… different styles and hair colors. I was fully blonde earlier this year, now I’m rocking the burgundy color. I intend switching to green soon. They will all be fine.

    Sorry about my epistle. Love your blog.

    http://www.sincerelychi.wordpress.com

  • Posted October 11, 2018 9:07 am
    by Chidinma

    I cut my hair last year and I did it myself ( I’m very DIYish with my hair). I came out of the room and my family members loved it…. Now this is not like I seeked validation from them or something but I just felt good knowing that they didn’t make the whole thing feel awkward for me.

    Fast forward to going back to school and I heard all sorts: “you are petite already, how can you have short hair? you look like a child”. The most ridiculous question I still get asked today is what my dad and boyfriend thinks of my hair cut and if they approve.

    I pay them no mind, especially as you don’t contribute to my hair expenses. I love my short hair…. I get tired and bored of it but that’s perfectly fine. I also enjoy playing around with it… different styles and hair colors. I was fully blonde earlier this year, now I’m rocking the burgundy color. I intend switching to green soon. They will all be fine.

    Sorry about my epistle. Love your blog.

    http://www.sincerelychi.wordpress.com

    • Posted October 11, 2018 5:39 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      Thank you Chidinma, omg.. i love that you experiment so much with your hair, I’ve had a terrible experience with dye on my hair so I’m scared.

      if i want to one day, i definitely want yellow!

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