Female Development and Style

“Women are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

This is the third episode in the Abortion series, please read with an open mind and share with a friend if you enjoyed it

Why did you decide that you were going to get an abortion?

So I’ve actually done it twice and hopefully will never do it again because I’m never having sex again. Lol. The first time, I was in 300L. I knew I was not ready to be a mother. The second time was earlier this year. I’m more stable financially now but still not mother material. So I just didn’t want to do that to an innocent child

her abortion story

Which method was your abortion? 

The first time, it was surgical. It was so difficult getting a doctor, my then-boyfriend and I searched for days and were considering using drugs before we finally found a clinic. The 2nd time, I used drugs. Both methods were painful and I bled for weeks afterward and I just felt really messed up in general.

Did your partner know about this, was he fully involved and did this affect the relationship 

The first time, yes my partner was aware and really supportive. He was the only one who knew about it and we went to the clinic together and everything. I don’t think it really affected our relationship, we broke up for a different reason. We never made each other feel guilty about the decision.

The second time, I wasn’t in a relationship with the guy, we were friends with benefits. And yes it affected the “relationship”. He got the drugs for me but went for a vigil the night I took it and left me alone in his house. I’m not even kidding. And the pain for the first few hours after taking it is crazy. After the procedure, I realized he wasn’t worth the trouble so I’ve been single and celibate since then.

What do you think people should consider when judging women that have abortions

I think people should know that they probably have someone in their lives who has had an abortion, even married women. No one sets out to get an abortion, it’s just something you have to do when there’s no choice.

I’m curious, do you regret having your abortion? 

It’s such a complicated thing really. I sometimes imagine keeping the first child, he/she would have been also 5 years old. But Nah, I don’t regret it. I regret the 2nd one though, I could have prevented it but I was careless

What were you not prepared for that happened after the abortion? 

The bleeding. All the bleeding. Especially with the D & C

What was one thing you wished you had after your decision 

 I wish I had someone to talk to after the second time. I cut the guy off and no one else knew about it. I was also really stressed at work then and was having serious anxiety. Altogether, not the best time of my life

Will you ever have an abortion again? 

 I’ve done it twice so never again

Final words for anyone considering having an abortion

Buy a lot of sanitary pads. Lol. Seriously, be absolutely sure of your decision. I was sure and still felt some guilt after, especially the 2nd time. And don’t judge yourself too hard. Just make better choices as you move forward.

What are your thoughts on Abortion? has reading these stories changed your mind on abortion?

YOU SHOULD READ

4 Comments

  • Posted November 24, 2019 9:32 am
    by Moses Gare Kelvin

    This series is actually a gold mine with a lot of answers to questions that have often been asked without proper replies.

    I am glad you are doing this because whoever is in this delima and stumbles on this post, that person, will indeed find the needed help from these real life experiences.

    Also, I noted where she said the 2nd dude left her to go for a vigil, while she stayed home to take pills.

    Are people not even scared? Like what!!!

    Anything could have happened! People don’t react the same way to medication.

    The most dangerous thing is to take a life terminating pill and not have someone be there with you through the process.

    I once had a friend who legit passed out after taking the pills. Luckily, her boyfriend was with her, it was 2am, he had no car, he had to carry her on his back to a near by hospital that night.

    His presence saved her life.

    Imagine he was in a “vigil”

    Smh.

    • Posted December 8, 2019 7:23 pm
      by Olotu Funke

      People can really be so selfish! Anything could have happened to her!

      Thank God your friend was with her.

  • Posted December 6, 2019 7:41 pm
    by Sisikunmi

    He got the drugs for me but went for a vigil the night I took it and left me alone in his house.

    That part really got me. Not because people shouldn’t worship God in spite of having premarital sex and abortion, but because he would rather go for a vigil than stay with the babe. Simple kindness, not necessarily love should have made him make a better choice.

    I still don’t get why abortion is illegal here, because people find ways to get it done either way – so why not provide a safe space for it? In med school, we were taught that unsafe abortion is one of the top causes of death in pregnant women. Working as a doctor, I have seen women die because they went to the wrong place for abortion. And tbh, we all know it’s not like most people abstain, they just get ‘lucky’. I really don’t get the faux morality we portray.

    I kinda got anxious typing this because I remembered the hate speech bill and I am just wondering if this is a comment I’ll be able to make freely if that bill ever gets passed. This country is messed up on so many levels.

    sisikunmi.com

    • Posted December 8, 2019 7:25 pm
      by Olotu Funke

      Do you understand! Getting a safe place to do this will help prevent so
      Many deaths.

      That part of people getting lucky is just so true, I hope that bill will not be passed and things get better with time.

      I’m tired of Nigeria

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