Female Development and Style

I always come across a lot of articles on what men need, what women need to know about men, how to act around men and all of those while I see very few articles for men about women, most of which are misleading and/or insulting to the 21st-century woman. Here are a couple of things men need to know about the 21st -century women in no particular order. Ladies, please feel free to add yours in the comment section below.

The 21st Century woman is not confused

We can actually think for ourselves. All that women are confused stuff is just not right. People get confused and it’s normal in life. It’s a part of growth. Men get confused. Women get confused. It is not a gender thing. It is a human thing!

If a 21st-century woman is interested in having sex with you, you’ll know 

One of the societal standards on women is to make sure they are being chased. It’s only cute when you’re wooing a woman that you know is interested in you. There are signs you know.

What’s absolutely wrong and disgusting is forcing yourself on a woman because you think she’s playing hard to get. This is the 21st-century bruv. She’s not just that into you!

This is one of the reasons why catcalling is still a thing. Men feel women have to be pressured to allow them into their life, to have sex with them so when their advances are rejected they start harassing (a lot of men will claim holding your hands on the street forcefully is not sexual harassment but will kill a gay guy if he does the same to them)

No means No when it comes to sex

If a lady tells you No. it’s wrong to persuade her, respect yourself and her, please… Like I said earlier, a lady knows if she wants to get physical with you or not so if she says No she means No. it’s either she’s not into you or she’s not ready yet and is taking her time to be ready to be with you. I mean it’s her body. She has every right to take her time.

I’ve noticed that some men don’t know this. They don’t know that women breathe and have brains that can process a lot of things. They see women as sex objects that have to be persuaded.

If she said no and you stopped then she says she meant yes and accuses you of being a weakling. Run away from ladies like that. They are toxic.

Do not think that because 5 percent of girls think that it’s valid. No means No and yes means yes. Tell her to learn how to speak her mind and don’t let her put you in trouble. If you’re a lady like that get a grip on yourself. You’re promoting rape and it’s disgusting!

 Your stupid obsession with the illusion of pretend-chastity is one reason thousands of women are hurt and violated daily in our society. Please do better – NewAfricann

Lack of control should never be a thing

Do not say I’m sorry, I could not control myself. Get a hang of yourself. Lack of control should have never been a thing and should not! Do you know that women get horny too? Like mad horny but self-control!, So why will you rape a woman and say lack of control and think it’s an excuse (not one single excuse to rape anyone)

If men are so strong as you all have been shouting. Yen yen yen. We are stronger than women why is it so hard to control yourself? Where is your strength?

If you find yourself constantly imagining raping someone’s daughter. Visit a psychiatrist. You need help.

Feminism is not against you 

I don’t know how to explain this. Well. Except you’re a misogynistic fellow. Then yes. We are coming for you.

Feminism is about gender equality. It’s about choice. Allowing women to breathe and make their choices in life because of their individuality not because of their sex. Recently  Chimamanda was in an interview that blew up on twitter and a lot of people criticized her. I like to imagine that they didn’t watch the video because if they had I see nothing wrong with what she said

She said open the door to people that are weak and not for women because you think they are weak. I saw a tweet saying Chimamanda hates men!? Huh?

Feminism is for all of us! Feminism helps with hyper-masculinity. I think I have to create a separate post for the benefit of feminism to men

Women are smart workers!

If a woman is in a business position, respect her because she worked for the job. It’s wrong to see a woman in the working place and assume that she knows nothing about the business. It’s really irritating that you just see a woman and assume she does not know the work. There are people in workplaces that shouldn’t be there and it’s not a gender thing. It is a human thing.

Women are different, as humans we are all different, so take your time to study the women around you and treat them well.

As a 21st-century woman is there something you want to add to the list? Let these men know


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  • Posted June 15, 2018 11:02 pm
    by Gbemisola

    Everything about this post is spot on!

  • Posted June 15, 2018 11:57 pm
    by Cirphrank

    First off, women are way more than any list can itemize, and I mean it positively. Now, what a whole lot of feminists in Nigeria starting from Chimamanda need to start practicing is implementing real time moves that will better the live of the average Nigerian female, even if it is in its tiniest bit, twitter banters and instagram chants won’t teach young ladies skills needed for better living, nor will querying lady Clinton like a fuming cub do the needful.

    We have all been through pains, and trust me, that’s not a women thing nor a man thing, it is a human thing!

    Now I have no problem with feminists, the true ones though, but those getting it all wrong just make me yell on myself sometimes like: “what the fudge!??” My problem with “feminists”.

    I’ll open the door for a lady and not for a guy, might even not do so even when he claims he’s weak and just throw a jab at him saying: “be a man!” why? I don’t see the lady as weak, basic courtesy just demands even if she ain’t my lady that I pamper her and be gentlemanly to some normal bits at least. It is for me what I call cherishing the beauty of mankind, not undermining her.

    Most times when y’all say you desire equality, it’s a shot in the leg for in most cases what you folks need is equity, and in some cases you already have it and are on the verge of thrashing it. Like if a war broke out I’d be damned to be high on equality weed and find myself shooting a lady! (else a female soldier seen on the battle field)

    It’s normal to feel pained real bad and I agree crude injustice is being met to the feminine gender at a number of levels, but know boys go through societal madness too, and next time most feminists want to make a statement, I’d be glad if they were rational about it and not emotional.

    I don’t see no lady as a weaker vessel when she be birthing and grooming “stronger vessels”!

    Maybe a couple of feminists might want to see their selves in that point of view first and realize that not everyone’s point of view can be viewed from a point, some folks just have marred orientation, not every male thinks lowly of the feminine gender and to make obvious your grievances, tantrums don’t need to be thrown, rather insights would do better.

    I could go on, and most definitely on, but if at this point you still don’t get my point, dear reader, ain’t no way I’ll ever drive the point to you. Not even in a million pages. Amen!

    • Posted June 16, 2018 8:47 am
      by thefunkeolotu

      A whole lot of feminist like Chimamanda stays educating women on their worth, that is a very big move to gender equality, a whole lot of feminist like Chimamanda are doing a lot for the average Nigerian woman. The fact that we don’t shout about it does not mean we are not about it.

      Her opening the door statement simply meant open the door for people that are weak. Do not open because you think women are weak. Not opening the door for a weak man and telling him to be a man is a form of toxic hyper masculinity. Men are allowed to be weak.

      It’s funny that you think you think you know what we need. It’s easy to make assumptions when you’re not on the receiving side of the bullshit.

      You saying boys go through societal madness too is “whatabouting” my point. I really do not like it. You can always talk about the societal issues men face without sounding like a competition because really when it comes to society and men. Their problems are mostly other men like hyper masculinity mentioned above. (Check the stats)

      When she’s birthing and growing “stronger” vessels? Explain

  • Posted June 16, 2018 1:49 pm
    by Cirphrank

    Stronger is in quotes for the reason that the meaning is not of the typical in this context, and it means the ladies are the ones that give birth to men and groom them to be the supposed “stronger” vessels, so I have never for once bought that idea of ladies are weaker, hence in the previous comment, I am simply making it known that irrespective of whoever says it, when it is put that way, I just want to puke and punch someone in the face.

    Now, me pointing out that boys get shitted on too was not meant to instigate a contest nor am I about to start a talk on it, pardon if my reference to it came off as upsetting.

    When I tell my man to “man up”, no, that’s no form of toxic hyper masculinity.

    I’m the kind that rarely sleep at nights, the old men watch over the home at night instinct has its toll on me, plus I actually web design at night, now I reckon when I was in the hostel, I literally was the alarm for all the other roommates, if I was practicing hyper masculinity let alone the toxic form, most of them would have gone to the exam hall unprepared and late, or even missed some. I could go on stating instances of being the nurse to bearded men when the are sick, I’ll only throw such jab when the fellow is faking it, or has almost totally recovered and need some kick to get back in tune.

    No, I’m not the kind that stays informed by trolls and trends only, I try to stay updated with the backstage activities too, what’s pretty much funny is that most of the energy is being poured online nowadays than offline like we are gradually forgetting folks homes are only real and not virtual reality, and sheer hate could come creeping in sometimes in guise of logically sane reasoning.

  • Posted June 23, 2018 10:18 am
    by Winifred Ben

    Great post. I agree most especially with the No means no and Self control point. A lot of men make such excuses and even claim they raped or pressure a girl cos she was playing hard to get… like really? I hope we ladies just have it in mind that some men are just ass-holes and lack self-control, so just try not to put yourself in a position that will compromise your standards.

    • Posted June 25, 2018 9:18 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      May God protect us from such men in Jesus name

  • Posted June 24, 2018 8:00 am
    by Kbhwriting

    Ya this is it! Woman all around the world have to find a way to embrace feminism. It should start with us! We really need to start seeing ourselves as an independent creatures. We should stop cycling our lives around men.

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