The day before yesterday, I wore a yellow crop top and thongs, danced in front of my mirror smiling and laughing at myself.
On Sunday, after Our President declared the lock-down. I had a panic attack.
I had been home for days before it was officially declared that there was going to be a lockdown in my state and other states. The reality of the situation finally set in.
I knew what was going on, I knew how dangerous COVID-19 is and why the lockdown is the best way to handle the situation. The fewer people that get infected, the better.
I could hear the sound of my heart beating, my hands shaking and my eyes tearing up.
When I noticed that the news triggered me, I played it cool, I tried to brush it off because it did not make sense for me to be having an attack over a situation I was well aware of.
The First thing I did was to Accept
Acceptance. Accepting that anything and everything can trigger me and it does not have to make sense. It does not matter if you saw it coming or not. Accept how you’re feeling and do not downplay it. A friend once told me that since she started acknowledging how she felt and giving them names, It was easier to deal with.
Playing it cool did not help me because everywhere I visited online had the news of the shutdown.
I started thinking about the kids and women I saw at the IDP camp, the children abused in several homes and wives that their husbands have turned into boxing bags, the poor people that have to hope that the day brings fruits so they don’t sleep hungry.
It made me worry, it made me sad.
I could not breathe properly. I was shaking. I was scared.
Breathe
I kept telling myself to breathe, I imagined it was an old friend telling me to breathe. His voice was always soothing and carried enough power and care for my body to listen. I remembered the voice and it helped. It took a while so I sat on the floor, for the most part, trying to hug myself.
It’s important to know how to calm yourself down.
Recognize that you are having an attack, close your eyes, take deep breaths; as much as you can. Focus on a memory, a voice, something soothing, your happy place. Validate your emotions and take your time.
Trust me, I know this is more difficult than it sounds but if I can do it. You can. I believe in you.
Distract yourself and enjoy the little things
Since that day, I’ve not had any panic attacks – I’ve been creating, dancing in front of my mirror naked or wearing bright colored crop tops and thongs. I love how they compliment my skin. I’ve been enjoying my own company. I’m making the most out of self-isolation and blocking out any news that will trigger me.
A reminder that this too shall pass. You are strong, you will overcome this. Okay?
If you want to read a detailed post on how I’m making the most of this time let me know by leaving a comment below.
Your turn. How have you been taking care of yourself with the pandemic? I’ll love to know and the community will be reading. Come on! Give us the details.
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