I read a tweet on how black girls are often conditioned to tie so much of our self-worth to our hair, how we are being bombarded with hair growth obsession in the natural hair community, putting too much energy trying to prove that our hair can grow and if this ain’t true!
When I had long healthy hair, I felt this but did not completely understand, since I had my big chop it’s been something else.
My first week at work after I cut my hair
One of the staff I work with practically sat me down to talk about how I look like a child and like a boy, how men don’t like ladies on low cut (when will people stop assuming that some of us care about men so much that we will put certain things on hold because of them) and how I won’t be taken seriously, other corpers I work with were there and it was obvious with their facial expressions and the side laugh in low tune was obvious they found what she was saying to be ‘true and funny’. It was irritating. But I was not going to let anyone make me feel terrible for what I decide to do to my hair. it’s not their business.
There was another occasion where this man asked if I were a boy and I didn’t care if he owned the place and answered ‘yes na, can’t you see that I’m a fine boy?’ he was embarrassed and walked away.
Another time this man called me, sat me down and started preaching to me, the hair is the beauty of a woman, it is your crown, it’s what makes you different from a man, it’s what makes you a woman. Like hello! My Vagina disappears? My intuition? At birth what is used to differentiate the gender? The hair?
I find it really irritating when people try to act dumb and question my sexuality, it’s not funny. Stop questioning people’s body, sexuality, weight, skin color or pointing it out, if it’s something they can’t change in less than 10 minutes keep it to yourself. Chances are they know about it.
A lot of people have tied their worth down to their hair, the length obsession, the crazy DIYs, I used to do those in the days but it was for the fun of it, I was in love with healthy hair and length was not really a priority.
I’m not saying do not love your natural hair, by all means, celebrate that crown but don’t spend all your energy proving that your hair can grow and waiting for it to get to a certain length before you can appreciate it. it’s yours and you make it beautiful.
Enjoy the process, please. And if you want to cut your hair and you’re scared of how people will react. Some people will love it, some will look at you like you did something bad but ultimately, and it’s all about you and how you feel about your hair.
One day I will talk about the obsession with human hair.
What do you think of the cut life? How do you take your natural hair? Do you get irritating comments about your hair and how do you handle it?
Pictures were taken by @stuffedbox he’s amazing
Full outfit from my online store @shopwitholotu and it costs less than 5k for the total outfit minus the bag and shoe.
Let’s connect on Instagram, I’m @olotufunke