I’ve been hoping that a day will come when we will talk about the objectification of women, women’s sexuality, how the society sees sexually active women as sluts, how women are made to shrink their sexual desires to be seen as women. We will talk about it, I will talk about it and that day is today.
Men are raised to think being sexual is natural to them, its biology. Women are raised to be ashamed of their sexual need. It is as a bad thing if a woman admits being a sexual being that she is. You must not show any sexual desire, how dare you! How dare you let anyone know that you have a vagina between your legs that sometimes get wet and you want a man, woman or sexual objects you make you feel better.
Because of the unhealthy upbringing of daughters by the family and society women shrink their sexual desires, a huge part of themselves, they lose an important section of their amazing lives to the stigma and shame associated with a being a SLUT (a sexually active woman).
Amber Rose in a recent interview was talking about her slutwalk, how she was called a slut because she got divorced and got with someone else, the interviewer (a man that I don’t care about) said that is not what makes a woman a slut, it’s sleeping with multiple partners, she asked him what he is if he sleeps around with multiple women and he said a SLUTMAKER. It was a minute clip and I honestly would not have continued watching if it wasn’t she should have just walked out on him or better still spat on his face and told him to kiss her slutty ass.
That’s to show how deep these cultural standards for our bodies has eaten deep into the society, it’s disgusting and here are some side effects
Side effects of the cultural standard on women’s sexuality
Women are not allowed to expressly express their sexuality and it has hurt us in ways
- Sex naturally is an act that should be enjoyed by both sexes but when people have the mindset that men enjoy sex and women do not, sex is seen as a win for men and a lost for women, so when a man can get you down and insert his penis inside your vagina he feels good about it, he tries to do everything within his power to make sure the woman says yes. It makes him feel good sexually and his Ego is massaged because well.
- Young girls tend to get out of control – because of the unhealthy upbringing of women about sex (I was told as a little girl that if I get close to a guy I will get pregnant and so was thousands of other Nigerian girls) it’s funny but unnecessary, the effort going into covering the truth about our sexuality or making it look bad can be used to teach young girls how their body reacts to different things, how to act when an uncle is looking at you in a certain way, how to shout when they are being touched inappropriately, what to expect in certain situations.
When these girls grow into adolescence and discover their sexuality, they love it; I mean sex is to be enjoyed. With no form of sexual orientation, most girls go out of control and these will greatly increase their risk of STD, STI, and unwanted pregnancy
- Lack of satisfaction with their life – a lot of women that are sexual often shrink their selves or ‘get help’ because they think something is wrong with them, when every part of a person is not made to feel alive, the person feels less, feels unsatisfied and look for solution to a problem that is not there. It greatly affects the quality of a woman’s life.
If you are out there and are a sexually active woman, cheers, enjoy and embrace every part of your sexuality. Don’t let anyone guilt you because you’re not a virgin and you love sex. It is to be enjoyed.
And if you’re side-eyeing my post, PLEASE! Women like sex. Women enjoy sex. Deal with it.
Let’s talk about
Feminists that slut-shame sexually active women because it’s not in line with their personal lives.
Feminism as a whole celebrates equality, freedom, it celebrates choice and when it comes to sexuality it means not shaming your fellow ladies for having sex even if you want to be a virgin till you’re married. If that’s what you want cheers. If your best friend wants to get some let her.
Sometimes I catch myself judging another woman’s lifestyle and I quickly put myself in check, we are in a limiting society so it will take time to unlearn a lot but it’s necessary and very important.
The reality of women that love sex
They are bold, generally happy and easy going, embracing your sexuality makes you discover more about yourself, the women that have unlocked these are hardly bitter because they are living their lives according to their rules, not unhealthy standards
sex makes a woman feel desired
When a woman is sexually active and she shows it people get confused because it’s something new, I mean how can a woman be so bold to talk about sex, she will be seen as a sex addict even if she is just with one partner, the fact that she is bold enough to talk about sex means she loves it and is most likely obsessed with it.
She masturbates a lot! Well maybe not a lot but when a woman loves sex it’s most likely that she wants more than her partner In an article on WebMD, Louanne Cole Weston, Ph.D. stated, “When people wrote in about the discrepancy of frequency and desire [for sex], about 40% of the time it was men wanting less.” the fear of being rejected may make her masturbate or because she wants to please her darn self by her self.
She may cheat – like my previous point, a woman scared of rejection can resort to masturbating and even cheating, having multiple sex partners makes it easy to be satisfied, this is not a reality for all but for some women.
You can read more here about sexually active women
Women have a desire to be sexual just like men, when a person’s sexual nature is stripped of these hurtful and shaming cultural and psychological influences, a man and woman’s desire for sex is basically the same. Lisa Firestone
what are your thoughts on the societal standards on women’s sexuality? Have a story to share? I’ll love to read !