Female Development and Style

“Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that some people only enter your life as temporary happiness.”

Love is beautiful, peaceful and sometimes confusing. At least that is what it has been for me. However, what happens when things don’t go as we imagined? When you have done your best yet, certain events remain unresolvable? You move!

Moving on is a difficult thing to do, especially when a person is a good person.
I have been there. I got out of a relationship some months back, and it was one of the most challenging decisions I’ve taken in recent times.

It’s hard to let go of what you cherish, what you consider rare and perfect. The fantasies you’ve let build in your head and the future you have planned together.

Sometimes, you need to accept that love is not enough for a relationship to thrive; there is compatibility, patience, emotional maturity, understanding, and discipline to name a few.

When you start thinking of leaving your relationship, something is wrong, and you are not imagining or overthinking. We, women, are blessed with an intuition that sometimes gets lost in a sea of what if’s and maybes.

Moving on is hard but not impossible.

5 steps to moving on

Accept the reality and believe your reason is valid

Moving on is hard if the person was mistreating you, much more if everything was right and somethings you can’t change gets in the way.

My Ex was a dream come true, and when we found out we were both of Genotype AS, a part of us wanted to risk it because of love. But in this case, love is not enough.

We decided to split for the future of our kids. I could not stand the worry and what if things don’t go right thoughts.
We had to accept that the reason was valid because it was.

Cut off contact

I often hear people say cutting off contact with your Ex is childish. Childish? If anything, it shows you understand yourself, and you’re ready to decide to let go of that person and anything that reminds of your ex till you’re in a better place.

Unfollow them on social media if you must. So, you can breathe better especially if it was a toxic relationship.

Be selfish with your sanity, be selfish with your decision to move on, and protect your mental health.

Accept the past and note the lessons

You have to come to peace with your past relationship. The process, what failed, what changed and what hurt you the most.

It is perfectly fine to be angry about certain things, but anger does not help you; especially when you direct it to yourself. Statements of regret, “I should have known better,” “I should have listened to my friends and family.” Stop it.

You need to let all that go, it won’t be easy, but anger and regrets draw you backward, it is a toxic emotion you don’t need.

Forgiving is for no one but yourself; it frees you, it makes you feel lighter and better.
Forgive them, forgive yourself. Breathe.

Change circles

If certain people don’t think you did the right thing by moving on, you need to let them go too. If you’re a naturally hopeful person, your mind tends to draw back seeking for answers where it’s a closed case.

Having people who continuously make you regret your actions only brings the worst out of you.
Take time off for yourself.

 

It’s okay to love them still

When moving on a lot of us tend to hide our emotions or lie that we are over our ex when we are not.
It’s okay to love them, being in denial would not make you move forward.

Love is beautiful. There are different types of love and love can shift. That romantic love you feel can evolve into something else and if it doesn’t remember to take your time and don’t lie to yourself.

 

Will it be difficult for you? Hell yes! However, you would look back on these steps you took and be thankful. You deserve the type of love you give and the relationship you desire.

I wish you all the best!

Love and Light

Funke

 

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38 Comments

  • Posted March 13, 2019 12:39 pm
    by GiGi Eats

    There certainly are people in our lives that only serve the purpose of… Teaching us some lessons! I have met lots of them and honestly, I am glad they came around even if it was a tad painful to get rid of them too.

    • Posted March 13, 2019 12:50 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      yes, it’s always painful to let them go. but we move!

  • Posted March 13, 2019 12:49 pm
    by Keely elise

    It will be difficult but truly with it. Thanks for the inspiration x

  • Posted March 13, 2019 1:05 pm
    by Stacie

    This is such a powerful post. We don’t always move on from toxic people. Sometimes, we move on from wonderful people who just aren’t going where we are.

    • Posted March 13, 2019 1:11 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      move on from wonderful people who are not going our way. powerful

  • Posted March 13, 2019 2:33 pm
    by Sassyefeosa

    Is it bad to wait for something better to come before letting go?

    • Posted March 13, 2019 2:55 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      Hnmmm

      Personally, I feel like you should let go and prepare for what you want to attract. Not letting go and being alone for a while can mean that you’re scared of being alone and you have to be satisfied with being alone to enjoy being with someone.

      But if you’re having fun and being a baby girl, enjoy yourself! You get me. Shoot me an email if you want to talk more.

  • Posted March 13, 2019 11:24 pm
    by Jaye Shields

    “I should have known better,” “I should have listened to my friends and family.”

    You’re totally right, these are super destructive things to think. Good points.

  • Posted March 14, 2019 2:31 am
    by Erin Knight

    This post is so empowering. It is difficult to move on from a good person and especially when we still love them, but it is the best for our future and our sanity.

    • Posted March 14, 2019 8:06 am
      by thefunkeolotu

      Yes! We have to move and do what will benefit us in the long run

  • Posted March 14, 2019 6:37 am
    by Annemarie LeBlanc

    I will send the link to this post to my son. His girlfriend of 6 years left him for another man who she met when she took some short courses abroad. My son is still trying to get over the break up and it hurts me to see him sad. I know he will heal eventually, and I am here to give him all the support he needs.

    • Posted March 14, 2019 8:07 am
      by thefunkeolotu

      Such a sad story, I’m sad he had to go through that.
      I hope this post helps him, he heals and remember to take his time.
      Lots of love from this side

  • Posted March 14, 2019 7:35 am
    by Kristine Nicole Alessandra

    When my eldest child went through a break up with his fiancee, I told him that “things like this happen because there is someone out there who is far better.” There is no time frame to forgive, forget and move on. Healing comes in its own sweet time. So my advice to my child – “work on being a better version of your already good self. Your special someone will be there waiting for you when you are ready.”

    • Posted March 14, 2019 8:09 am
      by thefunkeolotu

      Your advise is spot on Kristine. There is always someone better but it’s just hard for us to accept that sometimes
      Working on being a better version of myself. Always ?

  • Posted March 14, 2019 10:34 am
    by artchee

    Great insights on how to move on. I in particular do cut off contact as well.

    • Posted March 14, 2019 2:34 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      Yes. Till I’m over them then maybe

  • Posted March 14, 2019 3:42 pm
    by Beth Pierce

    I don’t think it’s childish to cut your ties with an ex. It allows you to heal and get some perspective. These are great reminders.

  • Posted March 14, 2019 3:47 pm
    by PORSHACARR

    It can be tough sometimes but if that’s what you gotta do you gotta do it. I’ve been there.

  • Posted March 14, 2019 8:02 pm
    by emman damian

    People come and go! These temporary persons teaches us important lessons in life. It’s a great insight.

  • Posted March 14, 2019 9:42 pm
    by Eno

    It’ll be better in the long run.
    Hard now but better.

    I love you sister girl ?

  • Posted March 16, 2019 12:39 am
    by Heather

    Moving on is one of the hardest things we have to do. But I do believe there are always better things waiting for us.

    • Posted March 16, 2019 6:12 am
      by thefunkeolotu

      There’s always something better when we move forward ?

  • Posted March 17, 2019 6:39 pm
    by Oma

    This post was beyond empowering, Funke. Came at the right time. Go easy on yourself, it’ll take time to get over him and that’s okay. The love can eveolve into something else. Thank you so much for this Funks!

    heygirrl.wordpress.com

    • Posted March 18, 2019 7:19 am
      by thefunkeolotu

      Yes Oma.. breathing
      I’m glad it came at the right time

  • Posted March 18, 2019 4:08 am
    by Kiwi

    Wow this was a deep post. I like the part about it’s ok to still love them I think the problem with break ups it’s the denial that you ever loved them or try not to love them anymore. Love from a distance.

  • Posted March 20, 2019 9:23 am
    by Sike Gbana

    You made a hard decision and you should be proud. I remember when I broke up with my feist serious boyfriend some years ago and what helped me was prayer. I kept praying that God will help me stand on my own because my whole world revolved around him. Moving on is definitely hard when the person seems perfect to everyone else.
    He got engaged last week and I am so happy I have healed enough to be happy for him. Thanks for sharing your story with us Funke.

    http://Www.blushesndbrushes.com

    • Posted March 20, 2019 10:04 am
      by thefunkeolotu

      Awwwnn Sike

      Your story just told me that I can move on to that place where I’ll be very satisfied

      Thank you !!

  • Posted March 25, 2019 9:54 am
    by Cirphrank

    You’ll be fine. Actually, you are. And it’s good you’re helping others out.

    • Posted March 26, 2019 3:38 pm
      by thefunkeolotu

      thank you! means alot

      • Posted March 28, 2019 3:52 pm
        by Cirphrank

        My pleasure.

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