She’s the one!.. the other girl whispered loudly “maybe they just look alike”
I heard them, I was buying cereals at the supermarket, it’s been 3 months, I thought no one would recognize me.
I quickly wore my big D&G sunglasses, adjusted my already sagging silk scarf, made way for home crying as I drove
I ran inside the house and my sister jumped up surprised at my tears and followed me upstairs, I quickly banged the door at her face, I didn’t want her inside, I could not bear the “I told you not to go out speech”
I threw my bag away and fell on my knees sobbing.. ‘it was never going to end, I will never have my life back’
3 months ago …
I was in Jason’s overly designed apartment, I always teased him about being too extra with his space, he ignored my comments like he didn’t care, it was obvious he didn’t care because who else has 3 different types of furniture in their living room.
Jason is what I call a dream come true, dark chocolate skin, full beards, pink lips, how his arrival commands attention and respect, he was my faith, hope, peace of mind and joy in human form. A rare breed of a man; kind, compassionate, understanding, humble and respectful. the past 8 months with him felt like forever and also a day.
I love him like I’ve loved no other and I believe in the love he says and shows he has for me, it was truly a fairytale love, something out of a movie but even the love out of movies had trouble. ours was no exemption.
We had the conversation about staying celibate until marriage, I wanted to and was not going to force him to be on the same page with me. he agreed, took time but he did. we’ve kept our private parts to ourselves since then.
The past 8 months has not been hard for me because I was never sexually active but it has been for Jason because sometimes he tries to initiate sex but I remind him of our agreement to each other.
The last time he did was not a funny one, Jason was breathing hard during our make-out session in his apartment, he took off his shirt, his body rock solid and dark, smelled like sweet sin. He wanted to take off my top but I resisted because we both know where this will lead to. he tried forcing himself on me but I pushed him back with all the strength in me, stood up and rushed out of his house.
I stopped picking his calls and replying his messages if he could no longer stay celibate with me it’s better he finds someone else and stay away from me, a part of him that I love started drifting away. day after day. especially when I imagine what could have happened if I was not Physically strong enough to stop him.
It was time for me to move on from Jason, it was not going to be easy but I no longer felt comfortable with him.
On Saturday night I got a message from Jason saying.
I’m having another attack, please bring your inhaler for me mine is finished
we both had asthma and Jason was never careless with his inhaler so I wondered why he let it finish, I didn’t want to go because it may be a way to talk me into accepting him back but what if it wasn’t and he really needed my help.
I drove to his house and rushed to the bedroom and I was right, there were flowers, scented candles, chocolate and my all time favorite red wine on a table in his room and there stood Jason, standing across the room holding a sorry card. it melted my heart but I was not ready to let it show.
I asked angrily why he sent me the text to get me here, reached for the door but he rushed for me and went on his knees begging for a conversation and explaining how sorry he was for the other day. his brown watery eyes melted my soul and I decided to stay for a glass of red wine.
To be continued….