poetry

Empty At 16

11:08

Uncle temi must have said something, my father was shouting on top of his voice, my father has anger issues you see, he’s hard to live with.

So I was not surprised, but what got my attention was when mother started shouting. The argument continued and started to sound like they we’re fighting over something. I rushed to their room and saw uncle temi’s big black friend dragging a gun with my father, my mother on the floor and uncle trying to escape the direction at which the gun was pointing.

Father saw me and screamed at me to get David, run to my room and lock the door, I was terrified. I’ve seen guns only in the movies before.
As I entered the room and locked my door I heard a gunshot, then another and another.

10:30

Mother will never allow me, well I can’t wait to be admitted into the university and be free to wear what I want to wear, my birthday is tomorrow, guess who’s going to be 16!
The preparation has been very stressful. This time I’m glad the family members are not in the house, it’s just my daddy’s younger brother and his weird black friend that’s spending the night in our new duplex, forgive me. I had to spell it out, we’ve never stayed in a duplex before, my sisters and I are pretty excited.
It’s funny that months ago daddy had a serious argument with the same uncle sleeping in this house over the house, I think he stole some money meant for the borehole, I pray I and my siblings never get to a stage that we steal from each other.

 

But that’s none of my business, Tony is coming tomorrow and I’m too sure that mom will not allow me wear my pretty red dress, the one that shows my pretty curves. She wants me to wear the white dress with no fitting  at all and I want to impress Tony.
It was 11pm and I was in my room thinking of what to do to the white dress. I was remembering Tony’s smile, how he must be happy to see me. I might get my first kiss tomorrow. I’m so excited!  Shhhhh, don’t tell my mom. She will break me, all those things you see on the internet about African mother’s are true you know.

11:11

My heart dropped at the sound of the gunshot, who pulled the trigger??  My father cannot be a murderer and he can’t be dead, No.. My mother is still alive and kicking.. The sounds of my elder sisters running up the stairs shaked me from my thought.
I screamed at them to go downstairs and call the police but it was too late, I heard two more gunshots and a scream from my sister.
Then it dawned on me, my parents were gone, forever. They would have never shot my sisters.
I wanted to call the police but I had no phone number, my hands were shaking, I was picturing over 50 thousand things that could happen. David was crying, he’s just 4 …I quickly went on my knees and told him that everything was going to be okay very soon.

 

I lied.. I didn’t know what will happen in 30 seconds from now.
I locked him inside my bathroom and told him not to cry, that if he doesn’t cry everything will be fine… Close your ears and don’t cry baby, everything will be fine. I promised.

 

Then the loud bang on my door made me shiver, my father’s brother screaming at me to open the door if not he’ll break it down and kill me. Death!? I’ve never imagined that.
I refused, the bad people in the movies I watched are liars, he started kicking the door with his friend until it opened, damn the furniture man he lied about everything being original, he even said bulletproof.
I was terrified and squezed my night gown as if it was going to instantly save me. I was looking at two men with anger in their eyes and blood stains on the shirt look at me. Uncle temi’s friend was giving me disgusting stare, he looked at me from my breasts to the pink pant showing under my transparent white night down.

 

My uncle was pointing the gun at me and telling me how stupid I was for not listening to him. But his friend told him to be calm and drop his hand, as if to save me from my untimely death. He jumped on the bed making his way to where I was with his kneel, looking at me with those disgusting eyes and licking his lips

 

11:52

He grabbed me by the arm and threw me on the bed, I saw my uncle’s face lit up with excitement.

His friend was removing his belt and unzipping his trousers, eyes fixed on my nipples. He brought out he’s already erected black thing and it was very black, big and scary, I squuezed myself at the corner of the bed and closed my eyes, praying that everything will go away, my eyes opened as he dragged me with his strong arms and opened my legs across his, he touched my night gown and I slapped him, I shouldn’t have.

 

He punched me and slapped me hard several times till I could taste my blood in my mouth and I could very see, then he tore my dress and shifted my pink pant to the left. He gave me a hot slap on my face that felt like it came out of excitement. He inserted his finger inside me and screamed *she tight die* he was putting it several times and it hurts more everytime.

 

I was too weak from the beating to scream or say anything, the only action I could perform was let out hot tears and think of David in the bathroom.
The next feeling woke me up and took me down, it was the feeling of his black thing inside me. It was the most painful thing I’ve felt in my life.

11:57

I let out a silent scream and more tears fell on my cheeks. He was sounding like a pig moving up and down on me till he let out an heavy breath and layed next to me. Sweating, smelling.

12:05

My uncle took that as his cue to come on top of me and have his way.
As my uncle continued having his way, my eyes were starting to close, I stooped crying, I could not feel anything, I’ve been bleeding from my face and my vagina for minutes, I felt my life slipping through my fingers.

But I remembered David, then my eyes lit up again and I could feel again so I started crying… He continued. more aggressive than his friend and took more time.

12:30

He got off me and appeared to have been slapped to reality that there are dead bodies of my parents and sisters. They rushed out, leaving me to bleed to death.
I thought I was going to die, I remembered David again and I dragged myself on the floor to open the bathroom door, feeling pain in my soul and in my body, I opened it to see my 4 year old brother sitting in the floor, closing my ears with his hands, crying, closing his eyes.Knees close to his chest, I dragged myself near him and he finally opened his eyes to look at my swollen eyes and mouth. He said aunty sewa and hugged me close.

 

I’m sitting on the bathroom floor with my brother, just hearing the police sirens, thinking of what I always read about hope, is there hope?  The dead bodies of everyone I’ve loved is here, my innocence died here.
I want to go back and be worried about the dress I want to wear, I want my mom to wake up and tell me to tie a wrapper and I will.. I will do anything she ask of me. I want to see Tony and enjoy my 16th birthday.
I don’t want to worry about not being pregnant after two men I hate the most came inside me, I don’t want to worry about how I have to take care of my younger brother and make sure this does not traumatize him. I don’t want to worry about how I have to start loving my body again. I don’t want to worry about how I will be perceived and pitied.

 

I don’t want to worry. I want to die here. but looking at my brother’s eyes they are telling me that I have to to fight.
Fiction © Funke Olotu, October 4th,  2017.

13 thoughts on “Empty At 16

  1. Amazing post, child rape is one of the evil vices that is ignored or not given much attention in Nigeria. My topic for my finals project was domestic violence and it opened my eyes to alottt about domestic violence 💖

    I’m working on some posts on domestic violence, hopefully it they will be up soon on my blog
    http://www.cravejade.com

  2. I don’t see reasons why men rape children, and he even killed her parents. Funke you must finish this story and the girl must teach him a lesson.

  3. Wow!
    This felt so real and I could paint the images in my head.

    Child abuse is a trauma no child should go through!!! Especially after loosing her family. The psychological effect is always too ugly!

    I love this, Funke.

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