poetry

Pool of my Blood

I have been so busy with Exams that have not been able to write anything, I wrote this amazing piece today, I think it’s the longest have written. Do enjoy lovelies.

Now, we should treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women were raped because someone raped them.

Jessica Valenti

 

She’s the one!..another said “maybe they just look alike”

I heard them, I was buying cereals at the supermarket, it’s been 3 months after my ordeal, I thought no one would recognise me.

I quickly wore my big D&G sunglasses, to cover my face and my already sagging silk scarf.


I left hurriedly and started crying in my car as I drove back home, I ran inside the house and my sister jumped up in shock and followed me up stairs,  I quickly banged the door at her face,  I didn’t want her inside before she will start saying I told you not to go out…

I threw my bag away and fell on my knees sobbing.. ‘they are stupid, even if they want to talk must they shout?

3 months ago …

I was in his arms, resting, at peace.. even if a bomb dropped at that time, his arms will protect me, am safe with him. He loves me, he knows too much to disappoint me, he knows about my rough childhood and how strong I am now, he admires that.

Then he grabbed me by my chin and started kissing me, eyes closed. The world was outside, we were in our own little universe……we we’re back to earth, he wanted to remove my pant.

David always did that, I have warned him against going down there, am still a virgin and must keep my virginity till my wedding day, I always tell him.

These days he has been stubborn, the last 8 months that we’ve been together he has always respected my decision but now that part of him that I love seems to be drifting away day after day.

Saturday night, I received an emergency phone call from David, I was scared to death with the way he sounded.

On getting to his house, I rushed upstairs and I saw him coming out of the shower, I was surprised. He was the one that sounded like he needed help some minutes ago.

He smiled as I was still panting, I asked him why he called like that when he was okay and he told me to calm down, feeling stupid especially because of the mocking look on his face, he gave me wine and I drank to calm my nerves, he said he was coming and I made myself comfortable on his bed.

Next thing I remembered was waking up with serious pain,opened my eyes to wake up in a pool of my blood, I cried as what happened hit me.

He raped me!

But David is my boyfriend and I told him that I didn’t want to have sex, my thoughts escaped as I was brought into the reality that I was still bleeding and David was no where to be found… I dragged myself downstairs, inside the car, the gate-man made no attempt to help me but I saw the pity in his eyes, he was looking at me as if he has been warned against helping me. He opened the gate, I drove out.

To my…

I woke up with drip connected to my hand, I opened my eyes, I had a slight headache ad I saw a dark face.

It was Sandra, my sister. She looked at me with pity and I immediately remembered the gate man’s face. Tears dropped,  ‘David raped me Sandra ‘ I said, she didn’t sound surprised, she just embraced me and cried with me.

A week later and the doctor explained my condition to me ‘Am sorry, Cassie but you cannot give birth. ..you lost so much blood because the rapist was very……………

His words faded,  I was deaf for that moment, life has ended, what was remaining for me, I could not cry again, I could feel nothing.

Sandra cried with me but she didn’t act surprised.

Weeks passed and I got over my depression, going to my house was like going to another world, I hated the smell of that hospital.

And my phone!…for reasons unknown they didn’t allow me use my phone in the hospital,  it was as if I was shut out of the world.

Going through my phone, I got notifications from twitter… I don’t usually get much mentions on twitter, I started going through my weird mentions, and a video got my attention.

Was that me?

No, it couldn’t be.

She looks like me but she was naked.

I don’t take pictures or make videos like that.

I clicked on the video and it went to YouTube,  I was shocked!.. it was me,  I was naked,  it was David on me, it was that terrible night, with over 10,000 views.

He recorded him raping me, it was me!.. my soul dropped!… it ran out of me… I was devastated, I was mute waiting for the ground to swallow me.

I cried until tears where tired of coming, it was me!

I checked other mentions.

 “Lmao,  she didn’t want to have sex with him, she’s 22,who is still a virgin at 22, I like what the guy did”

Another said “even if she was 30 …rape is rape!”..someone replied saying “what was she doing in his house at that time of the night”?

The majority seemed to be on David’s side, they said I was not supposed to be at his apartment at that odd hour if I didn’t want something.

He was my boyfriend, I was not safe to check up on someone that I love.

I will have to spend another three  months inside hoping that when I go outside, no one will recognize me.

Fiction.

Was it obvious that I tried to make it short?

What are your thoughts?

Have a wonderful day

XoXo

©Funke Olotu

21 thoughts on “Pool of my Blood

  1. I hate how people judge others so quickly, like it wasn’t her fault she got raped Afterall he was her bf, this is what most women go through daily…. I’m so glad you put this into a story, may God protect us from such evil

  2. Whoa! Ruth! Am amazed. Can’t begin to say how proud of u I am (lol..am not ur Ma tho)…keep it up
    Frm big fan & friend

  3. Oh my! For a moment you had me there till I saw the ‘fiction’. Your writing is awesome I must say and I look forward to reading more of your write-ups. Unfortunately, we are in a time when once a woman gets raped, the blame is shifted on her instead of the rapist who perpetrated the act. It becomes worse when the rapist happens to be a so-called lover. Immediately, all hands go on deck to challenge you as to why you should scream ‘foul’ as this is what you should freely give give in the first instance, irregardless of whether you want it or not .

  4. Love this piece because some many women are and have been taken advantage of but they couldn’t defend themselves and their rapist never pays for his crimes. I think rape is supposed to be punishable by death.

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